tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post7494736973804782684..comments2023-10-17T07:00:42.718-03:00Comments on Love YA: Team Mónica #7 -- JUST THIS ONCEAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00482654021641010175noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-56282228230322215672012-05-22T10:09:41.035-04:002012-05-22T10:09:41.035-04:00#7 JUST THIS ONCE
Query:
I can’t find much to cr...#7 JUST THIS ONCE<br /><br />Query:<br /><br />I can’t find much to critique about this query (except that “coat closets” shouldn’t be hyphenated). You spell out the important plot points and main characters clearly. It seems like a fairly quiet story, and I’m not sure how memorable the title is, though I find that that’s the case with a lot of contemporaries. <br /><br />First page:<br /><br />What a lovely first page. Your writerly mechanics are strong, and I think you do a good job of weaving in the backstory about the dad’s stroke without shoving it down the reader’s throat. I’d certainly turn the page.Tara Dairmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02553180762608936696noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-59749397049020619192012-05-21T23:19:06.396-04:002012-05-21T23:19:06.396-04:00I vote for this one!!I vote for this one!!Kevan Lyonhttp://www.marsallyonliteraryagency.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-2806272104586884232012-05-20T14:07:49.856-04:002012-05-20T14:07:49.856-04:00Really love this. Your query grabbed my heart and ...Really love this. Your query grabbed my heart and your opening page is just beautiful. I would definitely pick this book up. Good luck!Noelle Henryhttp://noellehenry.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-19098651826842492942012-05-20T00:55:29.619-04:002012-05-20T00:55:29.619-04:00:) Fingers crossed, Ej GA... Coming to an agent / ...:) Fingers crossed, Ej GA... Coming to an agent / editor / bookstore near you!Heather Clarkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13826379973881691514noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-64726077262115760092012-05-19T23:35:27.355-04:002012-05-19T23:35:27.355-04:00Sounds cool! I think my daughter and I would enjoy...Sounds cool! I think my daughter and I would enjoy reading this book...where can I buy it?Ej GAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07498968128639078072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-7956778669564427202012-05-19T20:07:46.837-04:002012-05-19T20:07:46.837-04:00This premise is so powerful. I loved your descript...This premise is so powerful. I loved your description of the mother filling her eyes: beautiful. <br /><br />Good luck!Renahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02767762370997304308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-16157645654777991962012-05-19T16:38:26.870-04:002012-05-19T16:38:26.870-04:00You have such a great opening sentence. I love th...You have such a great opening sentence. I love this idea!! Not big on contemporary YA and this is something that I would not be able to leave the bookstore without. Definitely a bookstore book. I wouldn't want a loaner copy from the library, I would need MY own!! Great job!Jennie Baileyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02088195986628533511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-70229452979417281892012-05-19T16:19:44.827-04:002012-05-19T16:19:44.827-04:00Fabulous premise!! I love this query too! My heart...Fabulous premise!! I love this query too! My heart already aches for the MC. Good luck to you!Kimberly Gabrielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05588782441929008886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-22212128200288582742012-05-19T01:42:06.515-04:002012-05-19T01:42:06.515-04:00Great changes to your query. I really empathize w...Great changes to your query. I really empathize with your MC. Would love to see what happens to her. <br /><br />Good luck!TYHatchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00654651712633828288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-31190291751190766652012-05-18T21:32:15.441-04:002012-05-18T21:32:15.441-04:00What a touching first page. Beautifully done!What a touching first page. Beautifully done!Lisa K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00379245068324225101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-9478018990858896142012-05-18T18:53:44.482-04:002012-05-18T18:53:44.482-04:00Simply gorgeous! Good luck!Simply gorgeous! Good luck!Jamie Corriganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11837319723353425561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-10858613195906279892012-05-18T16:13:49.591-04:002012-05-18T16:13:49.591-04:00I love this. The opening is amazing. Such great im...I love this. The opening is amazing. Such great imagery! Good luck!Sarah Hensonhttp://wordencounters.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-81354728982344187922012-05-18T16:08:07.259-04:002012-05-18T16:08:07.259-04:00As a fellow brainiac over-planner, I'm already...As a fellow brainiac over-planner, I'm already IN - I want to see her break out of her shell! And your writing in the excerpt is just lovely.Becca C.http://beccaweston.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-45754944749468793952012-05-18T15:49:21.369-04:002012-05-18T15:49:21.369-04:00Wow! This is wonderful! Great concept, and those f...Wow! This is wonderful! Great concept, and those first few pages are beautiful, fluid, and full of heart.Caryn Caldwellhttp://www.caryncaldwell.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-71475065584826026182012-05-18T11:43:18.221-04:002012-05-18T11:43:18.221-04:00Aw, this is wonderful! I agree with Jamie - TOTALL...Aw, this is wonderful! I agree with Jamie - TOTALLY magical. Especially closets with twinkling lights *wink wink* <br /><br />So much luck!Leigh Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15827971896088856057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-34217937146150607282012-05-18T08:48:18.039-04:002012-05-18T08:48:18.039-04:00Gorgeous! The query is magical, and this opening a...Gorgeous! The query is magical, and this opening already has me wondering when things are going to go wrong. Love it!Jamie Greyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07504892632149036762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-73200498819107628512012-05-17T19:49:29.931-04:002012-05-17T19:49:29.931-04:00This is the best entry I've read so far. It...This is the best entry I've read so far. It's solid heartfelt YA contemporary like Sara Zarr. Nice work.Stephscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06328839483008086049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-65505034035773536412012-05-17T18:17:30.414-04:002012-05-17T18:17:30.414-04:00"Sheldon sounds LIKE the sort of cat" ....."Sheldon sounds LIKE the sort of cat" ... is what I meant to say. Sheesh, Kluggur, how hard is it to type a three-line comment without tripping over your keyboard?Sam Kluggurnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-19204755111503483872012-05-17T17:56:39.519-04:002012-05-17T17:56:39.519-04:00This is exactly the sort of book that my wife love...This is exactly the sort of book that my wife loves to read. I'm intrigued! Sheldon sounds the sort of cat who was always elbowing me out of study groups or class projects in high school. I wonder whether he's really good enough for a smart cookie like Sydney.Sam Kluggurnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-17062922698704198452012-05-17T17:44:51.520-04:002012-05-17T17:44:51.520-04:00I would totally read this novel. Somebody publish ...I would totally read this novel. Somebody publish it so that we can find out how the story ends!Arthur Funktasticnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-38401029011874788792012-05-17T17:10:26.465-04:002012-05-17T17:10:26.465-04:00This hits shockingly close to home for me in so ma...This hits shockingly close to home for me in so many ways, so I totally feel for this girl. I want to see how it works out for her! *tries to sniff over shoulder to see the other pages*tlbodinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08334888426768433724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-74835647025340220472012-05-17T16:01:52.888-04:002012-05-17T16:01:52.888-04:00This is my kind of story. And... you have the same...This is my kind of story. And... you have the same mc name as mine. My Sydney has a pretty crappy life too (Check out Frosty on Cupid's site) And her rich boy also needs tutoring, in a way, but not from her. Funny to see the similarities. Good luck.Suzihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16502606950280751205noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-42967002271264665842012-05-17T14:35:13.155-04:002012-05-17T14:35:13.155-04:00I'm such a sucker for stories like this. LOVE ...I'm such a sucker for stories like this. LOVE it!!erica m. chapmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14773306703153110737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-73835195869809309782012-05-17T14:18:46.954-04:002012-05-17T14:18:46.954-04:00I like it!I like it!Thriving, not just surviving!https://www.blogger.com/profile/11597651082697010724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200721485261992830.post-54642896277204630342012-05-17T14:13:33.672-04:002012-05-17T14:13:33.672-04:00Beautiful story :)Beautiful story :)April Wallhttp://aewelch.comnoreply@blogger.com