When I was six, I had this friend who was taller than me. And I was really jealous—I wanted to be as tall as she was. I told my mom about this and she said, “Well, if you want to grow, you should eat ALL your meals, even the ones you don’t like.” And so I did. (My mom must have been so happy! Lol.) In the end, I grew up all right, and I don’t know if it was because I did my best or because of my genes, but jealousy actually made me work harder to get my dream.
So, I think that sometimes jealousy is good. (There, I said it! Please, don’t hit me.)
Jealousy makes you work harder and put the best of yourself out there. I only think jealousy is evil when you start wishing bad things to others. For instance, if I would have wished my friend not to grow an inch taller for the rest of her life. Or in the lit. world, it would mean that if I see someone succeeding (i.e. hitting the NYT bestseller list or selling movie rights) it’s all right to feel 100% jealous. But, hey, don’t wish them a total failure on their next book!
So what do you think, guys? Is it all right to feel totally jealous? Does it make you work harder to get your dreams? Or am I just crazy?
I don't think it's so much jealousy that drives me to succeed, but that "If she can do it, so can I" attitude. It's easy to be jealous until you see the hard work...and sweat...and tears someone has put into their success. There's a cost for every great goal we aspire to. And the people who have what we want? Well, they've paid the price. : )
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right and honest enough to say it. It was killing me when you signed with Michelle and I was still waiting, but I used that green little monster for good instead of evil and I'm so glad I did. You are an amazing friend already and I love having another pup to share the journey with. BTW-doesn't mean you're not crazy though. *grin*
ReplyDeleteIt's totally okay -- and normal -- to feel jealous. You're definitely not crazy! The key is to take all that jealous energy and use it to fuel your work. I know that when I feel jealous (which I do all the time, for a variety of reasons), it's because I just want it so bad. And there's nothing wrong with that!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Moni!
I think jealously is perfectly normal. Even, as you point out, productive in its way, as long as you don't let it eat away at you. You can't help what you feel, but you can control how you act on it.
ReplyDeleteSo, no, you're not at all crazy. :)
You are definitely NOT crazy!
ReplyDeleteI think it can be a very good thing if you use it to motivate yourself and remember that another person's success doesn't take anything away from you...there is plenty to go around if you WORK for it!
Why am I the only person who thinks your crazy *grin*...oh, maybe its because I'm crazy too LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteHolly! I love that if-she-can-do-it-so-can-I attitude! :D You're wise, my friend, I'm telling ya! :D
ReplyDeleteHey Kim!! And now it's my turn to be jealous, LOL. But seriously, I'm HAPPY for your deal!! :D I'm squeeing around so much that everyone in my family knows your name and your story! :D I'm so glad to share this journey with you, too! (As for the crazy thing: maybe you're the only one because you know me well--ha!)
Jenny! Right. When you want something so badly is when it's easier to feel the green-eyed monster possessing you, lol. Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Linda! Great point. (RE: "As long as you don't let jealousy eat you.") Because it sure can gobble you alive! :P
Carrie! Exactly. Another person's success doesn't take anything away from you. In fact, another person's success can be better for you (i.e. a friend landing an agent and giving you a referral ;D). And I'm glad you think I'm not crazy--LOL!
As long as jealousy makes you work harder, sometimes it makes people give up and that would be bad.
ReplyDeleteWell said! I think it was one author's movie rights news that propelled me to start querying again. I felt like I had fallen too far behind.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun blog!!! I'm a new follower and came on a great day!!!
ReplyDeleteJealousy I think is something that not only makes us stronger but helps us strive to our end goal!!!
Hey Patti! Thanks for stopping by :) Yes, it would definitely be a terrible thing if people gave up because they are feeling too jealous! :(
ReplyDeleteAnne! Really? Something like that happened to me, too! LOL. I mean, I'd LOVE to see one of my books turn into a movie! Ha! :D
Jen! Hey! Thanks for your words! :D I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks that way!!
I think it can be a great motivator. I've never been one to be very jealous. It just isn't in my makeup very much. I'm lucky that way! But when it rears it's head, and it does even for people like me, it is best to channel it into motivation! Great post!
ReplyDeleteThat picture is cracking me up!
ReplyDeleteI agree Kristin-I LOVE that picture!
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. Sometimes we act like jealousy is a bad thing. It's only bad if we don't use it for good. (okay, now I sound like some freaky super hero). ;)
ReplyDeleteIf it's moving you forward... it's a good thing.
ReplyDeleteRoni Loren wrote a great post the other day that touched on jealousy.
ReplyDeletehttp://fictiongroupie.blogspot.com/2011/02/building-writer-karma.html
I love the sentiment, that it's not going to help and could easily hurt. But it still hard...
I admit I feel jealous plenty of times. It's the getting past it that makes me stronger and better at this gig. It's rarely comparing apples to apples anyway. It makes no sense for me to be jealous of that debut YA bestseller when I've never written YA in my life and never will.
It helps me focus on and tighten my own dreams, the ones that are realictic for me.
Hey Heather! I'm jealous that you're not a jealous person!! LOL, just kidding. I think that when it's someone I know, and they succeed, then I'm not jealous at all. I'm very happy for them. :D
ReplyDeleteKristin and Kim!! omg, you know, yesterday I was thinking, "That picture is so CUTE that I can't believe no one has said ANYTHING about it." LOL. I'm glad you liked it too! :D
Hey Stina! Your superhero comment made me LOL! :D
Hey Jolene! I'm glad you agree! Thx for stopping by!
Hey Leah!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and commenting! I just read the blog and yes, I loved what Roni had to say about jealousy. I'm glad you gave us the link :) (btw, I'm also a HUGE karma believer!)
And I totally agree. It IS hard.
I think jealousy is a great motivator. Of course I always chase it with a dollop of guilt for feeling jealous in the first place, just for balance you know.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. Watching those around me succeed only makes me work harder. If it can happen for them, it can happen for me too. Plus, if the shoe was on the other foot, I'd want the other person to be happy for me :D
ReplyDeleteHi! I'm a new follower:) I agree that having a bit of jealousy can fuel your own drive. People I've met through blogging or on Twitter have found success recently, and I have to remind myself that one day I could have the same thing. But nothing good comes without hard work.
ReplyDeleteHey Leslie! Yes, I know what you mean--it's really common to feel guilty for that!
ReplyDeleteJulie, hey! Great point! (Re: the shoe on the other foot.)
Hey Melissa! Nice to meet you! *waves*
And you're totally right. Nothing good comes without hard work! ;)