Monday, May 20, 2013

Team Mónica # 4 JEWELLED

Middle Grade Fantasy
59,000 words


Of all the elements Rossi could have been born to control, she got lightning. Now, she must harvest bolts to collect their precious energy. To do that, she needs two stones, two sparkling diamonds, embedded in the palms of her hands—one to reap the electricity and the other to dispose of what she doesn’t need. The problem? Rossi’s only got one dull diamond. And harvesting lightning with only one jewel is harder than convincing her troll to take a bath. One tiny mistake and she could end up like fried chicken—and she vowed never to let that happen again. Afraid she’ll never be able to harvest her element, she risks becoming a disappointment to her mother and her village.

But then a strange boy comes to her mountain town. He claims to know secrets about her useless stone. According to him, she needs to learn to use it fast. She has caught the attention of a fire witch hungry for Rossi’s unknown special talent. Her first instinct is to ignore all this mess. That is, until a blizzard comes and the snowflakes start to burn, threatening the village and destroying Rossi’s home. The fire witch has found her. Rossi must burst open the secrets of her diamond and confront the power she fears. With a little luck, ashes won’t be all that remains when the smoke settles.

            Lightning struck the dirt close to where Rossi sat. She jammed her fingers in her ears and squeezed her eyes shut. The crackle of energy slid over her skin like a bucket of hot water.
Rossi despised harvesting lightning. It was loud, hot, and smelled like roasted cat. Plus, her short brown hair always stood on end for several days afterward, frizzed beyond repair.
            “Mom, that was too close. Stop flinging it at me.” Rossi had to yell over the rumbles of thunder.
Rossi’s mother stood on the edge of Nowan cliff, arms outstretched like she was welcoming an old friend. The white gown that whipped around her legs was like a beacon in the dark. Mom always dressed in her finest for the lightning ritual. Not Rossi. She’d thrown a jacket over her mud-spattered work clothes.
            “You could use a charge or two. You've been rather pale lately.” Mom lowered her arms and another bolt streaked through the night sky, straight for the pair of diamonds embedded in her palms. “Come here and try. You give up too easy.”
            “No!” Rossi opened her hands. The brilliant diamond she’d been born with sunk into her left palm and marked her element as lightning. Her right hand was empty. She didn’t have a second stone and would never be able to harvest lightning.
The only time she’d ever tried, the bolt nearly killed her. The electricity had entered her body through the single diamond, but there wasn’t a second stone to release it.


  1. Poor Rossi! This sounds like a sweet, heartbreaking, and very adventurous story. Love it! Good luck!

  2. Funny and heartbreaking and a lovely middle grade voice.

  3. MG UNITE!!!! Spot on MG voice, absolutely love it. This type of fantasy is exactly what I find myself reading. Great work Good luck!

  4. I'm not much into MG, but I'm totally captivated by this and would totally read on!!! LOVE the concept and voice!!! GOOD LUCK!!! :D

    For the record... I'd probably suck at harvesting lightning... but the fire is what would really do me in... :)

  5. I love the opening of your query. Who wouldn't want to collect lightning?? (Your MC, apparently!) Awesome work!

  6. The voice is flawless and the lightning concept is very intriguing! All I can think is more, more, more!

  7. I love this! What an original idea, and the last sentence of the query totally makes me want to read more. :)

    Good luck!

  8. You've been ninja'd! I would love to see a pitch, one-page synopsis, and the first fifty pages. Please send it as a word attachment to...(contact Monica/Brenda for further details!). Looking forward to reading your work :)